Growers and Grocers

People have started confessing their compost failures to me. Not sure why. I’m no genius of rot and I like to think I don’t proselytize. Maybe my grubby garden jeans confer the appearance of moral authority.

I’m surprised by how many people quit composting after one bad experience. That’s no way to get anything done. If you don’t want to compost I won’t judge, but if you want to start or try again, here’s my unsolicited composting advice based on ten years’ experience. All you need is some dead stuff and a willingness to forgive yourself as you learn.

What to Expect When You’re Composting

Begin with realistic expectations. A compost pile is a bunch of rotting dead things: grass clippings, salad greens, whatever. It’s going to look funky sometimes and if things go badly it may stink for a while, but the same can be said of any of us. Be at least as forgiving of your compost pile as you are of your loved ones.

The second inescapable issue is that animals seek food and shelter, and your compost pile will offer both. Don’t expect a pest-free experience. Remind yourself, as garden blogger George Weigel observes, that the critters are out there anyway. The difference with a compost pile is that you’re more likely to see them because you’ll be out there every day dumping in scraps. Over the years I’ve found everything in my bins from spiders and pill bugs to the occasional rat, snake and squirrel. So far they haven’t injured or killed me.

The third issue is that compost rots down pretty small and can take a while to do so. It’s unlikely that you’ll make enough homegrown compost to take care of your whole garden or lawn. But it’s a start.

The Perfect Spot to Rot

What you need varies depending on your climate, available space and pest issues, but the basics are a pile of dead stuff, fresh air, and enough water to keep the pile damp. If you live in a rainy area, keep the pile from getting soaked. In dry country, water it. As for a bin, start with something inexpensive and readily available. If it doesn’t work you can move on to more expensive containers. You can even skip the container and pile stuff on the ground or bury it. You’ll have to experiment. I did.

True Confessions: Stench and Critters

My first bin was a plastic trash can with holes drilled in the sides and lid. At the time I lived by a hayfield and didn’t want field rats in the pile. There everything sat, cooped up in a hot, dark container until one summer day when Hombre and I decided to spread it on our sorry backyard soil.

The first sign of error was the coffee-brown liquid that poured from the can when we tipped it over. Suddenly our little plot smelled like the worst zoo in the world on the hottest day of the year. The solid matter that slid out next wasn’t crumbly but slimy, and it smelled worse than the foul water. I spent about an hour hosing everything down, hoping to dissipate the stench, but the yard stank like a dirty barn well into the next day. We kept the windows closed and stayed indoors to avoid any richly deserved stinkeye from our neighbors.

Lesson learned: Inadequate ventilation makes nasty compost. Even though we weren’t watering the pile, the residual water in fruits and veggies pooled in the can and couldn’t evaporate because of the lid and because I hadn’t made enough air holes. Eventually I gave up on the trash-can method.

When I moved to half an acre near a creek, I went uptown and bought a plastic bin with lots of vents and a hinged lid. This would be ideal: no oozing zoo smell and no rats. I was right except for the rats. My plumber once told me that rats can chew through hard plastic, and after a few weeks I saw exactly what he meant. Rats, presumably from the creek, tore their way in by enlarging the vents with their teeth. Sheltered from the elements by the lid, one mama rat birthed a litter inside.

Lesson learned: An enclosed bin makes a nice den for nesting animals. I still have that bin, although it’s not my favorite, and the rats (and flies) have moved on since I started keeping the lid and sliding vents open. I have to water the pile more often, but I can live with that.

If you live in a place with lots of rats (the middle of a city, say) or keep your bin very near your house, you might try a metal bin with lots of small vents and a good lid. Rats, it seems, can chew through metal, but a heavy-gauge bin might slow them down.

My best compost holder is a rusty old wire rabbit crate. Junk goes in the little door, and I flip the bin from one side to the other every few days to ensure even air circulation and expose the bugs under the bin to the scavenging beaks of my two chickens. Finished compost falls out through the mesh and I shovel it onto my garden beds. Easy. Yes, I water the bin every day or two and yes, squirrels steal the odd apple core. Better that than stealing my ripe strawberries.

Compost Care and Feeding

Here’s what I put in my bins: rabbit, chicken and parakeet droppings; feathers; shredded newspaper; coffee grounds and filters; leftover coffee, tea and fruit juice; nutshells; cut hair and molted fur; crud vacuumed from our natural-fiber rugs; cotton dryer lint; banana peels and any food without meat, dairy or grease in it.

Some people toss in fish heads and other animal parts. It seems to work well, but I won’t do it here because of our large and aggressive turkey-vulture population. I also leave out eggshells because my hens get in the bins and I don’t them want eating their own moldy shells. I avoid white paper, dog waste, and anything synthetic.

I don’t turn the pile in my plastic bin because it’s too much work, but you’ll have fewer spiders and snakes if you stir things up from time to time. I do let my chickens pick through and eat little critters. Some people never turn their compost and get perfectly good results. Do what works for you.

That’s it. Stuff, air, water and whatever pest protection you need, along with the willingness to keep trying. If you have any compost tips or advice, please share. And if you get the urge to confess something, please make it racier than slimy compost.

Cross-posted at Redneck Mother.